November 4th, 2010
America is obsessed with fitness and sculpting the perfect figure, and over the years a lot of bizarre exercise and diet trends have surfaced. If you’re bored with your regular routine or if you want to give your patients a break from therapy or a workout session, check out these 10 strangest fitness videos ever sold, starring old English ladies to WWF stars.
- Easy Fit With Diana Moran: Lovely Englishwoman Diana Moran — dressed like Gumby — invites chaps as well as stressed out ladies to stretch out their faces to release anxiety. Exercises like “The Joker’s Smile” frighten and amuse.
- It’s Simple Darling: Only available in VHS, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s fitness video comes with a cover featuring her tiny figure (in massive white tennis shoes) sandwiched between two unitard-wearing beefcakes. Reviewers say Zsa Zsa’s in terrible shape, and the workouts barely get you moving.
- Gilad: 15 Targeted Express Workout: Gilad Janklowicz also has his own YouTube Channel, but his vintage videos are the best. He takes over Waikiki Beach with his spandex-wearing friends, and his accent is just perfection.
- Stephanie Huckabee DVDs: Judging from this YouTube preview the very pretty Stephanie Huckabee’s workouts seem fun enough (ignore the editing, they’re supposed to show off her well-endowed assets), but she never looks at the camera. In fact, she’s always looking at the wrong camera, with a frozen, uncomfortable grin on her face that’s less than inspiring if you want to get through a workout.
- Yoga 4 Dogs: The doggie yoga trend sort of caught on a few years ago, but we feel like it’s a face-biting waiting to happen. At least your pooch would get to work out in its own home, though, instead of being carted off to a studio, like this poor beast.
- Body Flex with Greer Childers: This bizarre video is still being sold on Amazon! Another video tape devoted to facial exercises — performed to avoid sagging — Greer shows overly dramatized “work outs” and stretches to “give you a younger look.” Called The Lion, you’ll have to stick your tongue out while rolling your eyes back in your head and holding your breath. Fried beauty pageant hair not necessary, but Greer thinks you need a whole workout wardrobe for such invigorating exercise.
- Cher Fitness: A New Attitude: Cher’s 1991 workout video features a saucy but spiritual Cher who admits she’s not doing all the exercises properly, or even completing the exercises. That’s supposed to be motivation for regular people who are having trouble doing reps and keeping up, but it sounds like Cher just didn’t practice enough.
- Oxycise! Level One Video Set: Oxygen gets rid of fat, or at least that’s what this video preaches. The whole idea is to get enough oxygen into your body to help it lose weight, in 15 minutes or less.
- Richard Simmons Dance Your Pants Off!: We had to pick at least one Richard Simmons video, and this one seems totally ridiculous enough for our list. Simmons is joined by men and women of all sizes, who wear their everyday clothes to dance and shout in the background. In the official editorial review, Amazon.com’s Joan Price notes that “no moves require much coordination or memory,” and that one woman in the video claims to have lost 282 lbs. dancing with Richard.
- Chyna Fitness: If you want a little white trash WWF eroticism to motivate you to work out, then we guess this video isn’t that strange. After all, Chyna is in great shape and promises to give you the workout of your life with the Chyna Challenge. But she just looks weird doing those warm-ups, and her puns are just awful.
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